Confidence is a Muscle: How to Strengthen Yours and Shine Bright

When you think about confidence, do you imagine it as something people are simply born with? That some folks naturally have it, while others don’t? If you’re nodding right now, you’re not alone. Confidence can seem elusive—like an exclusive club that some people are invited to while the rest of us watch from the sidelines.

But here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a muscle. And like any muscle, it can be built, strengthened, and flexed over time.

I’ll be honest: I wasn’t always confident. In fact, I struggled with shyness and self-doubt for much of my life. But I’ve learned that confidence isn’t about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about showing up as your authentic self and trusting that you’re enough.

If you’ve been feeling stuck or unsure of how to strengthen your confidence muscle, I’m here to help. Let’s dive into the steps that will help you shine brighter than ever before.

Why Confidence is a Skill, Not a Gift

Before we talk about building confidence, let’s bust the myth that it’s something you either have or don’t. Confidence is more like a muscle than magic. It grows with use and weakens when ignored.

Think of the first time you tried something new. Maybe you were nervous, unsure, or even terrified. But over time—whether it was learning to ride a bike, speak in public, or master a new skill—it got easier. Confidence works the same way: the more you practice it, the stronger it becomes.

Here’s the exciting part: no matter where you’re starting from, you can become more confident. All it takes is consistent effort, self-compassion, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.

5 Ways to Strengthen Your Confidence Muscle

1. Start with Small Wins

Confidence grows when you prove to yourself that you can succeed. Start with small, achievable goals that build momentum. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying a new workout, or introducing yourself to someone new.

Every time you accomplish something—even something small—you’re training your brain to believe, I can do this. And that belief is the foundation of confidence.

2. Silence Your Inner Critic

Let’s face it: we’re often our own worst enemies. That voice in your head that says, “You’re not good enough” or “You’ll never succeed”? It’s a liar.

The next time your inner critic pipes up, challenge it. Replace negative self-talk with affirmations like, “I am capable,” “I am strong,” or “I am worthy.” Need help getting started? My Self Love Journal is packed with affirmations and exercises to quiet self-doubt.

3. Embrace Failure as Growth

Here’s a game-changing mindset shift: failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the process. Every mistake, misstep, and setback teaches you something valuable.

Think of failure as a workout for your confidence muscle. It might feel uncomfortable in the moment, but it’s strengthening you in ways you can’t see yet.

4. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Confidence doesn’t come from playing it safe. It comes from taking risks, even when you’re scared. Start small—say yes to opportunities that push you just slightly beyond your comfort zone.

Over time, those small steps add up. Before you know it, you’ll be tackling challenges you once thought were impossible.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being kind to yourself. On days when self-doubt creeps in (and trust me, it will), remind yourself that you’re human.

Be patient with your growth. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember: confidence is a journey, not a destination.

The Confidence-Action Loop

One of the best-kept secrets about confidence is this: it grows through action. Often, we wait to feel confident before we take a step. But the truth is, action comes first. Confidence follows.

Here’s how it works:

• You take action, even if it’s scary.

• You prove to yourself that you’re capable.

• Your confidence grows, making the next step easier.

This “confidence-action loop” creates a positive cycle. The more you do, the more confident you become—and the more confident you are, the more you’re willing to do.

My Personal Confidence Journey

I’ll never forget the first time I had to speak in front of a crowd. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I was convinced I’d mess up. But here’s what surprised me: when I finished, I felt amazing.

Not because I was perfect (I wasn’t) but because I did something that scared me—and survived. That moment was a turning point. It showed me that confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Since then, I’ve made it a habit to challenge myself in small ways every day. Whether it’s sharing a vulnerable story, trying something new, or stepping outside my comfort zone, I’ve learned that confidence grows with practice.

5 Books to Build Your Confidence

If you’re looking for extra inspiration, here are five must-read books that will help you strengthen your confidence muscle:

1. “The Confidence Code” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

A research-based look at what confidence really is—and how to build it.

2. “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown

Explores how vulnerability and courage are the foundations of true confidence.

3. “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero

A motivational guide to silencing self-doubt and stepping into your power.

4. “Mindset” by Carol S. Dweck

Learn how adopting a growth mindset can transform your confidence.

5. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear

Build the habits that lead to small wins—and big confidence.

Affiliate Link Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Journal Your Way to Confidence

Journaling is one of the best tools for self-reflection and growth. It allows you to process your thoughts, celebrate your wins, and track your progress. If you’re ready to start journaling, check out these resources:

Each journal is more than just a notebook—it’s a tool to help you grow, reflect, and step into your most confident self.

Confidence isn’t reserved for a lucky few. It’s a skill you can build, a muscle you can strengthen, and a light you can let shine.

Remember: every small step you take matters. Whether it’s trying something new, speaking up, or silencing your inner critic, you’re flexing your confidence muscle—and that’s worth celebrating.

So, what’s one small step you can take today to strengthen your confidence? Whatever it is, take it boldly. You’ve got this.

With warmth and inspiration,

Michelle

Your journey to a better you.

Share your thoughts and insights in the comments below—let's inspire each other!

And don't forget to share this post with a friend who could use a little inspiration. 💕