Mom Guilt Is a Liar: How to Stop Feeling Bad for Taking Care of Yourself

Michelle

Apr 10

4 min read

Let’s Get Real: Why Do Moms Feel So Guilty?

Have you ever tried to take five minutes for yourself, only to be hit with an overwhelming wave of mom guilt?

✅ Taking a nap? “I should be folding laundry.”

✅ Enjoying a coffee alone? “I should be playing with the kids.”

✅ Going out with friends? “A good mom wouldn’t leave her kids.”

Sound familiar? If so, let me tell you something: Mom guilt is a liar.

Somewhere along the way, we were conditioned to believe that being a good mom means putting ourselves last—that self-care is selfish and that anything we do for ourselves is taking away from our families.

But that’s complete nonsense.

So today, we’re rewriting that narrative. It’s time to let go of the guilt and understand why taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do for your kids.

1. A Happy, Healthy Mom = A Happy, Healthy Family

Let’s do a quick reality check:

Imagine running on zero sleep, skipping meals, and constantly putting everyone else’s needs before your own. How do you feel?

😩 Exhausted.

😡 Irritable.

😢 Overwhelmed.

Now, imagine taking time to recharge—whether it’s a nap, a solo Target run, a workout, or a few quiet moments with your coffee. How do you feel?

😊 Energized.

💖 More patient.

🙏 Emotionally present.

Here’s the truth: Your kids don’t need a burnt-out, resentful, running-on-empty version of you. They need a happy, fulfilled, emotionally available mom. And that starts with taking care of YOU.

So the next time mom guilt creeps in, remind yourself: By prioritizing my well-being, I’m actually being a better mom.

2. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Survival

Let’s be clear: Self-care is not just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about meeting your basic human needs—physically, emotionally, and mentally.

🌿 Physical self-care: Eating nourishing meals, moving your body, getting enough rest.

💖 Emotional self-care: Setting boundaries, doing things you love, asking for help when needed.

🧠 Mental self-care: Taking breaks, pursuing hobbies, spending time with people who lift you up.

If you wouldn’t tell a friend to neglect her health and happiness, why do you tell yourself that?

You deserve the same love and care that you give to everyone else.

3. Ditch the “Perfect Mom” Myth

Ever feel like no matter what you do, it’s never enough?

👩‍🍳 Stay-at-home moms feel guilty for not contributing financially.

🏢 Working moms feel guilty for not being home more.

🤱 Moms who formula-feed feel guilty for not breastfeeding (and vice versa!).

Here’s a secret: The “perfect mom” doesn’t exist.

The only thing your kids truly need? A mom who loves them. Not a mom who sacrifices herself to unrealistic expectations.

So let go of the pressure to be perfect and focus on being present. Because that’s what truly matters.

4. Set Boundaries (Without Apologizing for Them)

Raise your hand if you’ve ever:

🙋‍♀️ Said yes to something you didn’t want to do.

🙋‍♀️ Ignored your needs to avoid disappointing others.

🙋‍♀️ Felt guilty for asking for help.

If your hand is up, you’re not alone. But here’s the thing—boundaries are not selfish. They are necessary.

💡 Want to take a break? Take it.

💡 Need help? Ask for it.

💡 Don’t want to do something? Say no.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being. Period.

5. Reframe Mom Guilt: What Would You Tell Your Child?

Imagine your daughter grows up and becomes a mom. She calls you, feeling guilty for taking time for herself.

Would you say, “Yeah, you should feel bad for that”?

Of course not! You’d probably say:

💬 “You deserve rest.”

💬 “Your happiness matters too.”

💬 “Taking care of yourself makes you a better mom.”

So why is it so hard to give yourself the same grace?

The best way to teach your children about self-love and balance is to model it yourself. Show them that moms deserve joy, rest, and time to be their own person, too.

6. Make a Self-Care Plan (And Stick to It!)

If you wait until you have time for self-care, it will never happen. You have to make time.

🔹 Schedule it: Block off time just for you, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day.

🔹 Communicate your needs: Let your partner, family, or support system know what you need.

🔹 Start small: Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant. Even small moments count.

Need ideas? Here are a few simple ways to recharge:

✨ Take a solo coffee break.

✨ Listen to your favorite podcast.

✨ Go for a walk.

✨ Say no to things that drain you.

✨ Read a few pages of a book.

✨ Do literally anything that makes you happy.