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Why You Never Get the Answers You Want (And Why That’s Totally Okay!

Oct 11, 2024

4 min read

Michelle

We've all been there. You’re sitting around, pondering life's biggest questions or maybe just something small, like "Why didn't I get that job?" or "Why did that relationship end?" You eagerly wait for a sign, a reason, or even an epiphany that gives you all the answers. But guess what? Crickets. The universe sometimes seems to have its own schedule or, even worse, no intention of giving us a straightforward response.


And that's the worst, isn't it? Not getting the answers you want when you're practically begging for them. But here’s the thing: It's totally normal to want answers. It's human nature. We crave closure, clarity, and certainty. But what happens when you never get that satisfying answer you’re hoping for? Let’s unpack that together.



Why We Crave Answers So Much


We, as humans, love a good story, and every story has a beginning, middle, and most importantly—a conclusion. Not knowing why something happened disrupts our sense of control. Think about it: when something goes wrong, we naturally search for reasons to make sense of the chaos. It’s a way of restoring order in our heads.

Wanting answers gives us a sense of security. We feel like, “If I just knew why this happened, I could move on.” But reality doesn’t always work that way. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes we’re left hanging without that final chapter, no neat little bow to tie things up.


But Here’s the Real Deal


The truth? You might never get the answers you want. And while that might sound like the worst possible news, it doesn’t have to be. It’s time to shift the way we look at unanswered questions and learn to be okay with the unknown.

Think of it like this: if you knew everything, life would get pretty boring. Imagine knowing how every situation will turn out, every reason behind each outcome. Sure, you’d have certainty, but you’d also miss out on the thrill of life’s journey. The unknown is part of what makes life exciting. It’s what pushes us to grow, to explore, and to become better versions of ourselves.


The Beauty in Not Knowing


Here’s where the magic lies—in the uncertainty.


Not having all the answers means you're open to possibilities. When you’re too fixated on getting one specific answer, you might miss the bigger picture or the new doors that are opening in front of you. Have you ever looked back at a time when you didn’t get the answer you wanted and realized it was actually a blessing? Sometimes the lack of clarity forces us to take new paths, try new things, and find better opportunities.

Life’s surprises are what shape us. They teach us resilience, patience, and acceptance.


It’s Okay to Want Answers—But Don’t Let It Control You


Let’s clear something up: it’s completely fine to want answers. There’s nothing wrong with seeking clarity, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling frustrated when you don’t get it. But what’s important is not letting the lack of an answer consume you.

Sometimes, we dwell on not getting the answers we want for so long that it becomes unhealthy. We replay scenarios in our minds, wondering what we could’ve done differently, or how we can “fix” things. But constantly focusing on the what ifs prevents us from living in the now.


Instead of getting trapped in this cycle, allow yourself to feel frustrated or confused—but then move forward. You might not have the answer you’re looking for today, and that’s okay.


Embrace the Questions, Not Just the Answers


What if, instead of desperately wanting answers, you started embracing the questions?

When we lean into the questions—without demanding an immediate answer—we open ourselves up to growth. Each question is an opportunity to explore who we are, what we want, and how we respond to uncertainty. Asking, “Why didn’t that work out?” can lead you down a path of self-discovery rather than frustration. Maybe it didn’t work out because there’s something better waiting, or maybe because you needed to learn a lesson you didn’t even know you needed.

Life is full of unanswered questions, and they don’t always have neat conclusions. That’s part of the adventure.


Finding Peace in the Unknown


Not getting the answers you want can be a major lesson in surrendering control. When we learn to accept that some things are beyond our understanding, we also learn to trust the process. We start to believe that things are unfolding as they should, even if we don’t always see the reason right away.

If you’re struggling with not knowing the "why" behind something, try these steps to find peace:


  1. Practice Patience: Give time for clarity to come. Often, it arrives when we least expect it, sometimes years down the road.

  2. Focus on What You Can Control: While you may not have the answers, there are always aspects of your life that you can manage. Focus on your goals, hobbies, or personal growth.

  3. Embrace Uncertainty: Remind yourself that not knowing is part of life’s excitement. Every unanswered question is a chance for new experiences.

  4. Stay Present: Stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Focus on the present moment. This is where life is truly happening.

  5. Trust the Journey: Believe that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason isn’t clear to you yet. Trust that the pieces will fall into place in time.


Not getting the answers you want can be frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world. In fact, it’s just the beginning of a new chapter. Life is more about the questions than the answers, and learning to navigate those questions can bring you peace, growth, and new opportunities.


So, the next time you’re left wondering “Why?”—take a deep breath. You may not get the answer you desire, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find something even better along the way. Keep going, stay curious, and trust that everything is unfolding just as it should.


Now, it’s your turn to reflect: What’s one question you’ve been seeking an answer to? How can you embrace the unknown? Share your thoughts in the comments!


With warmth and inspiration,



Michelle



Empowerment Enthusiast & Self-Love Advocate 🌟



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